Greetings, Program!

Its been printf("Hello, World"); + 4 weeks for Gwyneth, and today she received and downloaded her identity disk (many thanks to auntie Sarah for the AWESOME onesie)! Today she joins the grid and fights for the users!

The onesie doesn't lie!

Zombie Baby

I thought it was just figurative that Lindsay and I were feeling like "zombies" lately, for example, yesterday I tried to put a shoe on a foot that already had a shoe on it. But this disturbing incident in the photo has me worried that Gwyneth might be developing zombie tendancies as well - here you see her trying to snack on nanny.

We'll have to keep an eye on it!

Level Up!

Today I levelled up to level 2 chaotic neutral dad, thanks to the XP gained over the past 12 days and battle today. With my increase in level, I gained a +3 in intestinal fortitude, due to my triumphant victory of Gwyneth's poo monster that respawned four times this morning. I was victorious after the fourth diaper in a span of 10 minutes.

Huzzah!

The Anti-Bath

Today I discovered the anti-bath... here's how to do it.

Step 1: Feed you baby daughter a lot of food.
Step 2: Rub castor oil on her tummy (a laxative).
Step 3: Give her a nice, warm relaxing bath so she's clean and pretty for pictures the next day.
Step 4: Place her in a nice, new clean towel without her diaper.

If luck is on your side, you baby will show you the anti-bath too!

Projectile Vomit

You know, for someone who loves physics, I would have thought (well, before I had my own kids), that projectile vomit would be an event to marvel and exceed the exciting expectations that its name suggests. However, at 1:00 AM, when the vomit has landed on a pile of books you like three feet away, the last thing on my mind was to break out the lab note paper and instruments of calculation to record speed, distance, trajectory, exit force, etc.

Behold, I have traded my pencil and calculator for receiving blankets and a heck of a lot huggies wipes.

Not a Time Lord...

We had our first check-up with our family doctor since leaving the hospital. Everything is great and healthy, and she only has one heart beat - so I know she's not a Time Lord, and doesn't have a Tardis.

Sterilizing Bottles Part 2

An update from yesterday's post - bad idea!

While in theory the benefits of making food in already boiled water satisfy both good time management and healthy eating, using water that just sterilized bottles, while clean, tastes absolutley disgusting. I had to throw away a beatutiful looking bowl of Kraft Dinner due to its overtly strong BPA-Free plastic taste. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Sterilizing Bottles

Last night was the dreaded "Second Night", where your baby is pretty much inconsoleable, regardless of how much you feed, burp, hold or watch Doctor Who. My job all night was to keep preparing formula, and being quite new at it, I did a lot of sterilizing new bottles in boiling water throughout the night.

I'm increasingly seeing the need now and the future for stellar time management. An example of this could be with sterilizing bottles, here I am boiling bottles, throwing away invaluable boiled water each time - I should be tossing some raman noodles or KD in there afterward. Mental note, try this out.

Baby Comes Home...

Well, we're home from the hospital with our first born. And so begins this blog. Its less an attempt to humour the masses and more to humour my sanity. I've heard countless stories or sleepless nights, poopy diapers (and everything else), and other life events that make otherwise socially acceptable, sane people do things such as sing Wiggles songs out loud to quiet a crying baby or chuckle over an exploding diaper.

Cheers to the next twenty years!